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Title: Pieces of the Dream
Author: Siamesa
Word Count: ~16,500
Rating: T
Betas: Chira Wilder, offline friend Hugh.
Warnings: Violence, medical experimentation on minors, institutionalized racism and homophobia.
Pairings: Billy/Teddy, Cassie/Vision, hinted at Kate/Eli. Background Xavier/Magneto, Scott/Jean, Wanda/Vision.
Summary: "It was sometimes said that the government spent half its money trying to exterminate mutants, and the other half trying to create them." In a world where cold war simmers between the human nations and the mutants of Genosha, some people want peace, some want revenge, and two groups of teenagers just want answers.

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I think I'm going to do a Big Bang.  I'm working on a fic that I want finished and I think I can do it.


Sign-ups aren't open just yet.  I will spend some time thinking.

But I'd like to do it.

(Also, mom, if you are reading this please call me)
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Some are serious, some aren't.  Be forwarned that I have taken my nighttime meds and am perhaps not entirely in sound mind.

Writing!  Writing writing writing so much fun.  I have a Star Wars short thing almost done.  Do not actually know where I will post it as I have completly forgotten all my details, and also if I log in I will feel compelled to fix all the brokeness in Crashing In Time's formatting and I'm not sure I can do that.

I have come to the conclusion that the reason I adore Billy Kaplan is that he is essentially Luke Skywalker.

Please take the above conclusion with several grains of salt.

I have come to the less pleasant conclusion that Something Needs To Be Done about our justice system, and also that there's very little effect I, personally, can have on that situation.  This leads into various depressing thoughts about whether I can actually do anything with my life what with my inability to engage in meaningful social interaction without panic attack. Is my current goal really archaeology?  Is that feasible?  Can I do that, even, be a grad student and do the grunt work and travel to various locations and probably have to use public restrooms?  And even if I can, is it kind of selfish?

Also it is my twenty-five-billionth career goal this year alone, so, you know.

I like drawing almost as much as writing.  I am making interpretations of all the Guild Wars armors and when I get Flash for Christmas I will make dress up games.  I have been reading tutorials.

Didn't I write this long drawn out comparison between the Skywalker, Bat, Maximoff-etc, and Fire Nation Royal families?  I should find and post that sometime.

Someone a few rooms over is watching movies. 

And I should probably go to bed.


Sep. 28th, 2011 08:22 pm
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Today I finished my timecards, came up with a new original universe, got Children's Crusade #7, and my Star Wars shirt seemed to actively attract boys.

A good day, overall.
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I'm beginning a very busy summer season, including my first attempt at leaving home without the parents in years (an important skill, seeing as I'm leaving for college in August) coming up in a couple of weeks.

Over last few days we went to a Lawyer Conference with Daddy at a very very nice hotel.  I love high-end hotels, and they are something I will miss once I move out into the real world.  Staying in the fantasy world for now, however, we also went through a tiny town in West Virginia where I discovered my latest Dream Home, a big historic colonial mansion in the mountains right across from a Historic Memorial.  I also added a nearby restaurant as one of only two outside-of-NC locations on my internal List of Places With Decent Barbecue.

On the nerddom front, my disappointment that Green Lantern apparently wasn't very good (I will have to rent it once it comes on DVD and decide for myself, as reviews suggest it's not worth enduring a theater for) is somewhat tempered by the happy fact that X-Men First Class caaused a nice fic explosion for one of my favorite pairings.

Speaking of fic: I have a shaping up to be epic that I believe there will be decent interest in.  However: I was bitten by the plot bunny for it while reading someone else's drabble.  My fic has a different backstory, is in a different 'verse, and for the most part stars different characters, but the general inspiration-type-thing is the same- though it's an AU-setting that others have used as well and that I've worked to have a unique take on.  While I know the drabble author's name, I've never interacted with them and am not sure if they're still fandom-active. 

What is the etiquette for this situation?
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I made an Archive of Our Own account, primarily because I was fed up with messing up my italics and line breaks and seperations.

Does this mean I'll be writing new stuff?  Hopefully.  It is summer, after all, and I found several of my old flash drives lying around with half- written stuff on them.


Nov. 19th, 2010 09:14 pm
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I like AUs, specifically the "for want of a nail" or "makes a different decision" types.  They're probably 90% of what I write, even couting the ten million little snippets of things no one will ever see.  They're kind of why I got into fanfic in the first place, and they're one of my favorite things to read.  My mind has naturally gone to "what ifs" long before I ever got the idea to share them with other living beings.

They are much easier in Star Wars.  In SW, I start with a weird little head idea, like "Luke and Vader are talking on the phone!"  followed by "why?"  "how?" and "I really don't think they call them phones in the GFFA."  I focus on a few characters- what's Luke up to?  Vader?  Chewie?  Han and Leia?  They'd better get together.  I don't write stuff where Han and Leia don't eventually get together... And since I write and read mostly OT, it's a nice, short time zone.

So far, I have gotten ravenous angry plot bunnies for two comics AUs.  Both of them, for reasons only my subconcious knows, are Marvel, which is not even my favorite company and which has almost all of the few extant characters in any of my fandoms I actively hate.  The one that's currently biting the most started as a tiny teensy little couple of paragraphs I posted on here a while back.  And I meant for it to stay kind of tiny.

But first I had to flesh out some of the supporting characters.  Billy, Teddy, Tommy, might as well throw in the rest of the YA while I'm at it, but that means filling in the human side of the political climate, and then what's everybody else up to?  I might as well throw in a few more mutants to be fleshed out some, but not too many more, just the ones who'll have lines...

Yeah, right.  I'm now getting together an alternate backstory for Psylocke (Sammy, I'm giving her your hair) who by the way will not even appear.  Also the relationship count has expanded to pretty much every couple I've ever shipped ever a little in the MU ever, even though I still can't write romance to save my life, and also I think Professor X might kind of be evil now.

Maybe this is the problem with having such a big universe, with so many writers, many of whom disagree with each other about the characters so strenously?  Would Star Wars be this difficult if I ever got into the EU?  Aren't I thanking my lucky stars I never got into the EU? 

Anyway, this is basically a vent post, but any/all advice is welcome, etc.


Nov. 17th, 2010 08:52 pm
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New keyboard- actual, functional l key, always a plus.  Problem with the capslock, though- more bulletins as events warrent.  Also, it is large and clunky, things that I like and value in a keyboard.  Laptop-style ones make me feel like I'm not even typing, and make no happy clicky noises.  That being said, my old one made very nice clicky noises, and these different ones will take some getting used to.

Anyway.  Other news.

Green Lantern trailer- entertaining enough.  Still plan to see the movie.

School- I do not know why teacher A doesn't like me, and I am at a loss to explain why teacher B does.  She is a wonderful person and I very much like her, but I continually fail to keep on pace in her classes and yet she keeps asking me back.

I am considering dropping Generation Lost if the whole Ice situation does not improve.  She is a Norwegian ice princess.  She is not an offensive Roma stereotype loaded with angst.  Get this right, irritating writer person.  I will pick up Birds of Prey instead if I follow through on this.  Gail SImone understands proper characterization.

On the Marvel side of the aisle, Children's Crusade continues to be lovely.  Billy and Teddy are cuddly, Magneto is snarky, and Doctor Doom has a very, very nefarious plan.  It is clearly shaping up to be Billy's story more than anybody else's, but that is just fine because he is my favorite.

My webcomic for school is shaping up nicely.  Look for it online in early December most probably.
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So, writing lots and lots lately, though none of it's liable to be finished anytime soon, and if it ever sees the light of day I'll have to find a beta who knows Marvel somehow, which is tough because showing my work to strangers makes me jumpy and my "Dad, could you go over the grammar?" plan won't work for several reasons.

Anyway, the point is that I'm trying to put some romance in, because the situation suggests that, hey, there's nothing stopping them from being (semi) happy in love the way there is in canon, even if I had to turn the world into a dystopia to accomplish that.  It's mostly background, but I am trying to factor it in because I love the pairing and messing around with their dynamics. 

I really can't write romance to save my life.  There's the obvious problem, that I've never had one, but I've never found out my dad was a Sith Lord either, and it doesn't stop me from writing about that.  But they aren't even (quite) canon, which means I can't crib off of canon interactions like I do for Han/Leia or what little Kataang I've written, or anything like that, or even for the other pairings in the fic, which are almost all canon even if the circumstances are different.

So yeah.
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Microfic thing: In ten words or less, write a thing for each genre.  Went with Star Wars, of course.


He could never see her face- just the flashing blue blades.


"I am your brother," he said, with a dark smile.


"Bring Your Child To Work Day," Vader read, and growled.


Well, my ship's still shinier, thought Kirk, who remained annoyed.


The twin suns on her hair- Luke alive- death could come.


"Snookums? Babycakes, maybe?" said Anakin, and Padme fell over laughing.


Obi-Wan suddenly blanched.  They'd left Luke on the Death Star.


"Ben lied," said Lukeunit, and Artoo gently nudged his knee.


"You... pirate!"  "You say that like it's a bad thing."
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I think I have figured this out. And, additionally, why Mary Sues bug me so much. I'm fairly sure you're supposed to hit a point in fandom where you just ignore Mary Sues, but I cannot do it.


Because I like characters who are essentially large sacks of flaws.

This is why I love them. This is what makes them interesting. I can be screaming "No, you idiot, he's the only person who actually cares about you and you're just throwing him away like he's nothing!" or "You do realize that that kid has based his entire life around trying to be you and you essentially just threw all of that in the dirt?" or "Holy crabcakes, don't you think you should maybe mention a few details about YOUR FATHER IS EVIL?" and I still want to read more.

I love Yoda, in all his absolute inablity to get the POINT, and Batman, and his inability to function in a working relationship, and Toph and her ridiculously stubborn pride. My favorite Green Lantern is Guy Gardner, for heaven's sake.

That's not saying I want a character to have nothing but flaws. I'm just saying that I like them realistic, and a little tragic, and most of all forgiven.
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I yelled at my little brother.  I know I shouldn't.  He's really an awesome little guy, and we always get along, and I was being very immature.

But I yelled at my little brother and I don't completely feel that I was in the wrong and I'm still angry- so I shall do something formulaic to calm myself down.  In this instance, that fun thing where you take a sentence from each of your WIPS.  So here are sentences from all of my fanfic WIPS (minus Searching, which is spread out over too many flash drives for me to hunt down right now).

It was methodical.  I am calmer.  Next, I shall make internet dolls.

WIP bits


  1. But Dick was the well adjusted optimist of the Bat Family.
  2. Let’s just get this out of the way with a simple statement: I am not a very tactful person.
  3. So true Bad Things- they couldn’t really exist.
  4. Darth Vader recognized little of what was going on until he landed painfully. 
  5. The Rebellion had found her mangled body in a in a bacta tank, just another piece of waste from a destroyed station.
  6. Like most of his sentences, it concerned money.
  7. You didn’t walk around in this village with the name of the Fire Nation’s little force of destruction.
  8. Last night she’d dreamed almost exclusively of scalloped shadows and broken ropes, and while it beat slightly the recurring dream of Beast Boy with Cyborg’s head singing show tunes, it was not a pleasant dream. 
  9.  “We shall test this device on Calrissian.”
  10.  “You spice-addled fool, he’s still on the Death Star.”
  11. “It’s a long story. Listen, I’m trapped in the middle of a swamp, so could you please-”
Hm.  All of them from the end of the alphabet were dialogue.  Some of them desperately need editing.  Some of them are from fics that will never, never, never see the light of day.  And a couple of my favorites are trapped behind severe writer's block.

But I am calming down.
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To graduate, people in my district have to do this project.  They seem to change the name from Senior Exit Project to Graduation Project and back again every five seconds, but, regardless, I am fully in favor of the idea.  In theory.  And so, because I Firmly Support This Sort of Education, I am trying to do my best on mine, which has the added bonus of being due in two years so my mind refuses to recognize that there is in any way a deadline.

What I'm doing mine on is webcomics (sort of, it goes into more detail), both because I feel that they as a medium that needs more respect and because this gives me an excuse for the next two years to read them in class.  For the practical part of the project, I'm drawing a webcomic, which in two years or so I'll actually put up on the web assuming by that point I haven't changed topics completely/grown to hate it.

But for right now, the planning stages, it's fun.  I spent a lot of the day drawing out and planning some of the characters.  I'm trying to get the whole Uncanny Valley thing going with one of them, which is tricky with pencil-on-printing-paper.  Still, it's starting to creep me out a little, so I'm happy.

Seriously, I love designing characters.  It's so much fun.  Of course, I tend to go overboard and end up with complete Mary Sues who then need to be toned down for public consumption- but I like to think I'm getting better about that.  These characters now have personality flaws from the get go.


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